WHAT DOES NOT WORK WITH NARCISSISTS?.
By: Khalif Barkhadle
Digital Journalist
Published On: 23rd June 2024.
Managing narcissistic people or relationships can be very difficult and stressful. In addition, there are some false ideas that some people have with regard to what works and what does not work with narcissists.
In other words, there are ways to effectively deal with narcissists, and there are ways that are not. In today’s topic, I want to focus on a few strategies that will not work for narcissists and briefly go over what does work. At the end of the day, it would be great if Narcissists were willing to change their ways.
It would be great if they cared about other people, but they do not, and that is why a lot of the following strategies just will not work. But if you are trying to get a narcissist to alter their behaviour or just be nicer to you, you may be guilty of a few of the things I am going to mention.
So, I have 6 strategies that do not work with narcissists.
Number 1: Giving them what they want.
The Narcissist will not appreciate you, love you, or refrain from slandering or gossiping about you because you give in to them. The narcissist already feels entitled, so you saying yes to them and bending over backward for them will not make them think any better of you. They will just continue to use you, and then they will cast you aside when they no longer have use of you.
Number 2: Walking on eggshells.
This is where you are trying hard not to offend, annoy, or anger the narcissist. You are being incredibly careful with your words, tone of voice, and actions, probably hoping that if you navigate just right the Narcissist will not have any reason to lash out at you and that your situation might improve.
The truth is that the Narcissist does recognize your efforts, but it will only make them want to see you squirm even more. So, they will still get angry with you, get moody with you, still be dismissive of you, etc. You, walking on eggshells, is a sign of fear, and the Narcissist smells that fear, and it motivates them to be even worse, not better.
Number 3: Complimenting or flattering them.
Flattery can be useful against narcissists. But it is most effective when you are someone that the Narcissist is still trying to impress. If not and you are already at a point where they are taking you for granted, flattery will not work. Your words have no value or weight to the narcissist at this point. So, flattering them or being complimentative of them to appease them or lighten the mood will not have the desired effect.
Number 4: Pleading with them to change their ways.
Your request will only be ignored because, in the mind of the Narcissist, whatever they do is fine; if anyone needs changing, it is, you. It would help if you stopped nagging them. You are the one who needs to lighten up and give them a break.
You are the one who needs to stop complaining, etc. But the narcissists will not be moved to change their ways to appease you. Narcissists do not live to bring happiness to anyone but themselves. So, you having an issue with them is your problem.
Number 5: Not Sorry.
This strategy is very similar and just as ineffective, and it is explaining to the narcissist how you feel or how they have hurt you. The problem with this is that the narcissist can not empathize with you. They will not feel sorry for you. If anything, you may see a smirk or a look of delight as you recount your heartbreaks and disappointments.
Because the Narcissist does want you to hurt. They do want to know that they have been successful in bringing pain and misery to your life. But it does not make them pity you or want to do anything to take that pain away. All you have confirmed is that what they have been doing is working, so they will continue.
Number 6: Insisting that the Narcissist takes responsibility for their actions. Unless your objective is to get them to leave you alone or disappear altogether, there is no point trying to get the narcissist to take responsibility.
● The Narcissist is likely to become very angry and will either lash out at you or get away from you. Because nothing can ever be their fault. In the mind of the Narcissist, they are blameless. That is why they always deny or try to justify their actions.
● Taking accountability simply does not compute. So, what does work with narcissists?
● The truth is that the best thing you can do is to leave the narcissist alone.
● Do not seek their validation or acceptance.
● Do not ask any favors of them.
● Do not tell them your business.
● Avoid them, ignore them, or cut them off completely.
● But above all, we have to accept that narcissistic individuals are aware of their behaviors, but they do not want to change.
● So, the best thing you can do for yourself is have a life outside the Narcissist’s reach or influence because they do not care about you.
● They do not care if their choices make you unhappy. Narcissists believe you should just put up with it.
● To conclude, it is best not to spend any time trying to get a narcissist to change their ways, treat you better, or take accountability for anything. So, if you are doing any of the things I talked about in this article, just know it will be for nothing.
● Because narcissists are self-serving creatures.
● Everything they do is for their benefit alone.
● They do not care about your peace and happiness.
● And although they do need people, it does not mean they will appreciate, love, or ever care for anyone.
Thank you for taking the time to read this piece
If this content was helpful , please consider clicking the pivote button and drop your thoughts and comments in the comments section below.
Thank you!.
Sharing is caring!
