THE TEN THINGS A NARCISSIST CAN NEVER GIVE YOU.
By: Khalif Barkhadle
Published On: 21st September 2023
Dealing with a narcissist can be an emotionally draining and challenging experience. While they may appear to offer fleeting moments of charm and kindness, the reality is that narcissists are unable to provide genuine, meaningful connections
Narcissists take more than they will ever give you. Sure, there are good times with narcissists, but the bad outweighs the good. And eventually, we realize narcissists are only kind when they want something in return. Some narcissists use trinkets like money and gifts to lure people into their web of lies and deceit or to manipulate them into doing or giving them something.
The good stuff narcissists give people usually has some sort of monetary value attached to it. But the things that matter the most in this life are what they lack.
So, today I have 10 things that a narcissist can never give you. And it does not matter what type of relationship you have with them, these things will always be missing.
The first thing narcissists cannot give you is love. Narcissists are not capable of loving anyone. They can tell you they love you. They can do things to try and declare love for you, but in reality, there is no love. They can lust after you. They can desire to own you and control you, but they do not love you. But at the end of the day, narcissists cannot give what they do not have, and love is one of them.
The second thing narcissists cannot give you is honesty. A narcissist’s life is built on lies. They are not who they say they are. They deceive people into having relationships with them by pretending to be someone they are not. They tell lies to ruin the reputation of others. They lie about important things. They lie about petty things. They lie to you for the fun of it. But above all, they lie to themselves. And if they cannot be true to themselves, how can they be true to you?
3. Sincere apology.
The third thing narcissists cannot give you is a sincere apology. Narcissists are never wrong, and they never take accountability for their bad actions. They always choose to find a way to deny or justify what they do. No apology is ideal for the narcissist. But even when they do apologize to appease someone, it is not coming from a place of sincerity. They are apologizing just to move things ahead. They are not sorry, and they do not care how much they may have hurt you. Narcissists would prefer it if we just acted like they never did anything wrong. They want us to not challenge them or hold them accountable. Therefore, no apology or an insincere, general apology is all you will ever get.
The fourth thing a narcissist cannot give you is stability. Narcissistic relationships are anything but stable. Narcissists can be very moody, and the way they treat you is never consistent. Narcissists like to keep people on an emotional rollercoaster to keep them mentally and emotionally unstable. They do this to gain control of the person and the relationship. Therefore, you cannot feel secure in a relationship with a narcissist; they seem to intentionally want to keep you guessing where you stand with them.
The fifth thing a narcissist cannot give you is support. And I am not just talking about emotional support. I am talking about when you need someone to defend you or help you with something. You tend to have this expectation with a romantic partner, a friend, a parent, or another close family member. But when this partner, friend, parent, etc., is a narcissist, you get the opposite. Because not only do they not have your back, but some of them are willing to join with your haters to bring you down. Therefore, you cannot rely on a narcissist because you will end up feeling alone, and you will have to fight your battles alone.
The sixth thing a narcissist cannot give you is respect. Narcissists respect no one. They have no regard for your feelings, wishes, or your rights. When they ignore you or ghost you, they are disrespecting you. When they take advantage of you, manipulate you, and look down on you, they are disrespecting you. Yes, narcissists can be polite, but it does not mean they respect you. They will smile to your face and say the right things, but once you turn your back, the smile becomes a frown, and they will stab you in the back.
The seventh thing a narcissist cannot give you is intimacy. Being intimate with someone is all about creating bonds. There are 3 types of intimacy. Emotional intimacy is where you open up and share confidential things or emotions. Narcissists lie about their lives, and they have no empathy, so there is no emotional intimacy. Then there is intellectual intimacy, which is when you and someone share similar interests and beliefs. Narcissists mimic you to make you think you all have things in common, but there is no true intellectual intimacy either.
And then there is physical intimacy, which involves physical touch; so that is hugging, kissing, sex, and the like. When it comes to physical intimacy, there is no emotional or spiritual connection, there is no depth to your physical interactions with a narcissist. You are the only one who ends up exposing all you are to the narcissist, and the narcissist finds a way to use it against you. At the end of the day, narcissists do not want intimacy and all they offer you is an illusion of them being intimate when they are not.
The eighth thing a narcissist cannot give you is loyalty. As I mentioned before, there is no support, to begin with, so they are not going to stick with you. Narcissists are always seeking out new sources of supply, and if they think they can do better, they will. The grass is always greener on the other side for narcissists. They do not stop to consider the sacrifices you may have made for them; they will drop you when they think they no longer need you. Narcissists are loyal to no one.
The ninth thing a narcissist cannot give you is closure. Closure is all about getting some answers or having a sense of finality. Narcissists do not provide closure during a relationship or after a relationship. Narcissists do not like having difficult conversations when they are the ones in the wrong. So, things are usually brushed aside or left unresolved. In addition, narcissists do not like being questioned about why they did or said something. Therefore, manipulation is key to keeping the blame off them. Seeking closure from a narcissist will only frustrate and emotionally drain you. Narcissists cannot give closure when they need to avoid closure.
The tenth thing a narcissist cannot give you is peace. Chaos and confusion abound when a narcissist is around because this is the type of environment in which they thrive. So, if a narcissist is in your life, they aim to stir things up. Drama makes things more interesting for the narcissist. So, they will gossip, lie, and slander to turn people against each other. Narcissists cannot give you peace because they do not want peace. All they want is negativity, drama, and lies.
But to conclude… Narcissists cannot give what they do not have or what they do not want you to have. A life of misery is the only thing a narcissist can give you and wants to give you. This is why I would not recommend anyone to invest their time or life into a narcissist. The fact is that narcissists only think about themselves and how others can contribute to their existence. Narcissists are only capable of using people to fulfil their wants and needs. They want you to pour everything good into them while they give you nothing but negativity in return.
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