TEN DIRTY WAYS NARCISSISTS END THEIR RELATIONSHIP
By: Khalif Barkhadle
Digital Journalist
Published On: 24th June 2024
Ever since something’s off in your relationship. Beware of the narcissist.
They’re masters at ending things abruptly and sneakily. Brace yourself for a dive into their world. Discover the 10 shocking tactics narcissists employ to end relationships.
Number 1: Narcissist ghosts you.
Psychologists and experts have observed this behavior in narcissists, and it’s not uncommon. They call it silent treatment or ghosting. It’s a way for narcissists to exert power and control over you by cutting off communication. Narcissists leave you feeling confused, hurt, and doubting yourself.
Dr. Romani Durvasula, a renowned psychologist, explains that ghosting is a typical behavior in narcissistic relationships. She says ghosting is a compelling way of knocking someone down without the victims even knowing it. They’re getting rid of you without dealing with the consequences of their actions.
Number 2: They blame you.
Imagine you’re in a relationship with a narcissist and things start going south. Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, narcissists blame you. You might hear things like “You’re too needy”, “you’re too emotional”, or “You’re too demanding”. Narcissists point fingers at you, making you feel like the relationship’s failure is your entire fault. Psychologists and psychiatrists have studied this behavior and noticed that narcissists are masters at deflecting blame.
Dr. Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist, points out that narcissists use this tactic as a defense mechanism to protect their fragile egos. These experts agree that narcissists twist the truth to fit their narrative. They’ll manipulate situations to make you feel guilty and responsible for the problems in the relationship.
This toxic behavior can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and questioning yourself. Dr. Romani Durvasola explains that narcissists make you doubt yourself and your worth. They’ll make you feel like you’re the problem when their unresolved issues are causing the trouble.
Number 3: They cheat on you.
Psychologists and experts on narcissism have looked into this behavior and they’ve developed some interesting theories. One theory is that narcissists cheat because they have an insatiable need for attention and admiration. They want to feel desired, and cheating might make them feel more powerful and attractive.
Here’s another angle from experts: some narcissists justify their cheating by blaming their partners. Narcissists might say, “You weren’t meeting my needs” or “I deserve someone more exciting or attractive.” It’s a way for them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and to manipulate you into feeling inadequate. But remember, it’s not your fault at all.
Number 4: They discard you.
Experts in psychology and relationships often attribute the discarding tactics to the narcissist’s inability to form deep and genuine emotional connections. Narcissists prioritize their needs and desires above all else and have difficulty empathizing with others. So when they end the relationship in such a cold and unfeeling manner, it’s likely because they simply can’t fully appreciate the emotional impact of their actions on you.
Dr. Romani Durvasula explains that narcissists often view people as extensions of themselves rather than separate individuals from their feelings. So when they discard you, it’s like they’re getting rid of something that’s no longer serving their needs without much regard for your feelings or well-being.
Number 5: They smear your reputation.
Narcissists want to make themselves look like shiny heroes while making you the bad guy. Psychologists and experts in this field have observed this behavior in narcissists. They believe that narcissists do this to maintain their inflated sense of self-importance.
By tarnishing your image, they can elevate themselves in the eyes of others. It’s like they’re saying, “Hey, look at me! I’m so amazing and flawless that the other person is a total mess.” This reputation-smearing tactic takes various forms.
They might go around spreading rumors or flat-out lies about you. Or worse, they might try to turn your friends and family against you, playing on their emotions and trust. It’s a severe emotional rollercoaster that can leave you feeling isolated and emotionally wrecked.
Number 6: They look for another partner and replace you quickly.
They’re constantly searching for someone to feed their ego, which they call a narcissistic supply. As this new partner enters the picture, the narcissist might distance themselves from you. It’s as if you’re no longer the shiny object they want to play with; instead, they’re busy with their new toy that feeds their ego. Eventually, narcissists likely end the relationship with you. And here’s the thing: it might not even be a clean break. Narcissists can be manipulative and cunning, which might string you along, leaving you confused and hurt.
Number 7: They move on to a new lover but still have you in their grip.
Dr. Romani says narcissists often crave attention and admiration from multiple sources. So when they’re bored or unsatisfied in a relationship, they may seek validation elsewhere while keeping you on the back burner. The narcissist may still talk to you, see you, and even engage in intimate activities with you, but they won’t commit. Narcissists use you as a safety net. If their new pursuit fails, psychologist Dr. Craig Malkin refers to this as the reserve relationship, where the narcissist maintains a backup option to ensure they never feel abandoned or lonely.
Number 8: They initiate an issue or argument to end a relationship.
Picture this: your partner suddenly picks a fight over the tiniest, most insignificant thing. For instance, you left the cap off the toothpaste or forgot to remove the trash. But hold on, narcissists won’t stop there. They blow it out of proportion, making a mountain out of a molehill. Psychologists and experts believe that narcissists use this tactic as a manipulative strategy to create chaos and turmoil in the relationship.
They know that by constantly starting fights, they can make you feel frustrated, anxious, and emotionally exhausted. Dr. Romani Durvasula describes narcissists as having an amazing ability to use and abuse. She points out that they are skilled at finding your weaknesses and exploiting them to their advantage. Starting fights is just one of their cunning ways to maintain control and power over you.
Number 9: Stalking.
Some narcissists can take things to a filthy and dangerous level when ending a relationship. They might resort to stalking to keep tabs on you and exert control over you even after the relationship ends. Stalking behavior can manifest in different ways. They might follow you around, showing up uninvited at your workplace or home and trying to monitor your every move. When they notice you’re being too close with someone else, like your colleague, they’ll make an issue about it to end your relationship.
Number 10: They bait their partner to end the relationship.
Imagine you’re dealing with someone who has a narcissistic personality. These people can be tricky when it comes to relationships. One of their dirty tricks is trying to make their partner break up with them. Why would they want that? Some experts think it’s because they want to play the victim card, and it’s easier if they get dumped. The narcissist will act all innocent, but deep down; they’re hoping their partner will get fed up and decide to leave.
They might become more challenging, give silent treatment, and generally create tension without doing anything too obvious to be labeled as the bad guy. Manipulative ways narcissists choose to end relationships leave behind a trail of confusion and hurt. However, this knowledge empowers us to protect ourselves and foster healthier connections in the future.
By unveiling these dirty tactics, we equip ourselves with a shield of awareness, enabling us to spot the red flags that may signal a narcissist’s impending departure. Armed with this understanding, we can now navigate relationships with heightened discernment, understanding that a healthy partnership requires mutual respect, empathy, and authenticity.
Remember, the journey to self-discovery and healthier connections starts with recognizing and learning from the behaviors that can undermine our well-being. As we move forward, let us cultivate relationships that nourish our souls and elevate our lives.
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