Khalif Barkhadle
5 min readJan 17, 2024



By: Khalif Barkhadle
Digital Journalist

Published On:17th January 2024.

Rumours that narcissists spread about you can be incredibly damaging and manipulative. Narcissistic individuals are skilled at using gossip and deceit to undermine your reputation, control the narrative, and exert power over others. These rumours are often cunningly crafted and designed to tarnish your character, create doubt and uncertainty among those around you, and ultimately isolate you from sources of support.
The rumours can range from false accusations about your personal life and behaviour to exaggerated claims about your flaws and shortcomings. Dealing with these rumors requires understanding the tactics employed by narcissists and developing strategies to protect yourself and maintain your integrity in the face of their manipulations.
There are many reasons why a narcissist uses rumours, and they often vary depending on the nature of the relationship with the victim. Usually, they revolve around a need for revenge, a goal to discredit the target, and the narcissist’s own lack of compassion and empathy

1. You’re an addict.

These can be rumors such as they can claim that you have some form of addiction, that you’re an alcoholic, that you like gambling, that you’re a shopaholic, that you’re interested in drugs,sex etc. More often than not, but not always, it’s usually an addiction that the narcissist themselves has, so that they can get away with that behaviour because they’ve pinned all the blame onto you. You’re the one with those issues. Or neither of you might have those issues. The narcissist is just starting rumours. Or you might very well just like to have a gamble at the bookies now and again or a drink, no harm. A narcissist will exaggerate what you do to the maximum to those who gossip to spread rumours about you.

2. Money issues.

They might claim that you have financial issues or that you drain them of all their finances. One often, they’re the ones with the financial issues, and they drained you of all your finances. We can all have financial issues, and with a genuine person, you usually try to help each other out. You don’t start spreading rumors about people’s personal lives to people whereby those people, it’s none of their business as to what is going on in your life.

3. You’re an abuser, liar, and cheater.

They might claim that you’re the abusive one, you’re the liar, you’re the cheater. Now, neither of you, not all narcissistic people, cheat. They will cheat you out of your happiness, your hopes, your dreams, your health, your wealth, your friends, and your family. Then, they don’t all commit adultery on you. However, those who are the liars and the cheaters, they will accuse you of being the liar and the cheater in order so that they can gain that sympathetic attention from those around them and so that people look poorly on you.
Now, you could have been dealing with a narcissistic cheater. When you are telling somebody that this is what happens, you are speaking the truth about what actually happened. Narcissistic people lie or twist the story to their advantage or tell half-truths.

4. You’re unstable, crazy, with mental issues.

They might claim that you’re unstable, have mental health issues, are full of anxiety, or go crazy. And when you’re around a narcissistic person, you can develop lots of different mental health issues. You can be riddled with anxiety and stress and high blood pressure and so many health problems that this can match the stories that the narcissist is telling about you to those around you.
A narcissist might even get you to the doctors for help so that they can play the victim of how much they’re having to deal with you but the hero of how much they’re helping and supporting you. And what they’re actually doing is sinking you while gaining sympathetic attention from those around you.

5. Claim you are obsessed, stalking, harassing them.

They can claim that you’re the obsessed one. You’re the one that’s stalking them. You’re the one who will not leave them alone. Now, at times when they will not answer a simple question, when they will not make a simple arrangement, when they let you down, when they promise you something, you can then message them, especially if it’s about children. You said you were picking someone, so where are you? So, you can, yes, be messaging them. It’s not to harass them. It’s trying to arrange things.
A narcissistic person will persistently message you about things that have nothing to do with the situation. They will make stuff up. They will twist events to their advantage to claim that you’re the one that is obsessed and stalking them when, more often than not, they are obsessed and stalking and harassing you.

6. You’re the bitter and jealous.

They will claim that you’re the bitter one, you’re the jealous one, you’re the envious one because this makes the narcissist feel so special and superior that everybody wants them. When really, you’ve usually just had an awful, you’re trying to work out what is going on. And yes, we can all have feelings of resentment when we realize what we’ve been through.
We can all have feelings of anger towards somebody. We can all have those pains of jealousy when we’ve been fed one story and then delivered another, and then someone gets delivered the story that we were once sold and questioned what’s wrong with those. This is good because we can all work out then what on earth is going on. However, to a narcissist, they believe that they’re just special and more important than everyone else.
And when it comes to a narcissist and their rumors, when they can no longer control you, they want to control what other people think about you, and the best way to handle this is by letting the narcissist get on with it. You soon learn who the enablers and flying monkeys are. You soon learn the people you don’t want to explain yourself to. You soon learn people who will be there for you. By just letting the narcissist crack on and get on with it.
However, that is the best approach because at some point, then the narcissist will reveal who they are, and you reveal who you are with your actions and not your words. Stay out of this smear campaign and leave the narcissist to it.
What are your thoughts and comments on this piece.
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Khalif Barkhadle